So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
