WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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