So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize