I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
