After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
