I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
