oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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