this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
