What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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