just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
