I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I touched a dick in church today
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
