the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
