i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
