this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
