Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
