3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My penis needs a shock collar
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
