she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Send help, water and tortillas.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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