why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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