You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize