k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
