I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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