is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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