I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
