Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
