I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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