lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
