Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In other news, I just burned my penis
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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