I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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