Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
