I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
