Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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