i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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