No awkward lesbian experiences without me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
