I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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