My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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