She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
