She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
