Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
