i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Floor bacon is actually really good
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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