i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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