i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
