the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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