Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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