cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
