Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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