my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
