Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
