Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
