We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
