I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
