I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
