Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
