nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my nose is crying tears of wow.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
