i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
40s are totally the cure
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
