Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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