I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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