There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
