so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
