I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
