I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Boobs are out for the taking
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
